


Don't Make Me Say Goodbye

by puff22_2001



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Animal Death, Animals, Character Death, Female Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23033695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puff22_2001/pseuds/puff22_2001
Summary: The people of the Moon live long and fruitful lives. But not everyone in Usagi's orbit is a reborn soldier of justice. Usagi learns to let go, even as she struggles to hold fast.
Relationships: Aino Minako & Artemis, Artemis/Luna (Sailor Moon), Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi, Luna & Tsukino Usagi, Tsukino Usagi & Inner Senshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Don't Make Me Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This story is over fifteen years old. I edited out the most egregious problems (such as the gratuitous Japanese) and performed some minor plot surgery. However, this fanfiction is otherwise fairly untouched. I'm pleased to note that, other than the trite inclusion of the "guardian cats for everyone" trope at the end, this isn't as bad as I remembered.

“Something is wrong with Luna.” I whimpered to Ami, one of my best friends for years. She pushed a strand of short blue hair from her matching eyes, and slowly took off her glasses. Her face was a mask, but I could tell that she was concerned. I wasn't the only one that had noticed the change in Luna, my cat.

Well, Luna wasn't just any cat. She was a walking, talking feline adviser from the Silver Millennium, thousands of years ago. She was black as midnight, but with a bluish tinge in the right light, and garnet eyes that could scold or laugh like any human’s.

She was my best friend. Oh sure, I loved all the other tons too, but Luna . . . I could tell Luna anything. And she was always there for me. But lately, she’d been off, somehow. And it worried me.

“I know, Usagi. I've tried to ask her about it, but she won't hear of it. Has she told you anything?” I shook my head in denial.

“No, she hasn't. All I know is, it takes her twice as long to get up the stairs, she can't see the nose on her face, and she can barely move in the morning. I don't know what to do.” I began to cry, something I hadn't done in a while. The last time I remembered crying, really crying and not just wailing, was when I found my friends again after dying the last time.

It was right after I healed Galaxia of the Chaos inside her, and I met them all in the afterlife. We were given another chance to live, and I'd never truly cried since. I suppose my tears were all used up in joy that last time.

That was some four years ago, and I was now a pretty, not-too-stupid 20 year-old with my golden blond hair in its usual two-odango style, and my blue eyes as bright as ever. At that place in time, said eyes were brimming with unshed tears. Rei, my best human soldier friend, came to pat me on the shoulder. Her long, midnight hair caught the bright December sunlight, and her violet eyes were worried.

“Don't worry, Usagi. Whatever is wrong with her, I'm sure we'll fix it.” But just then, Makoto (yet another one of my guardians, the one with the chestnut ponytail and emerald green eyes) came over from her seat on the park bench. She shook her head in puzzled sadness. Her eyes worried me more than my own fears.

“I'm not so sure you guys. Artemis is going through whatever's wrong with Luna too. Minako told me he can't hear right, he's always getting lost and confused, and he's as lethargic as Luna. Minako is taking care of him right now, before she meets us.” Hearing that made my heart sink even more. Minako, blond and blue-eyed like me, had her own talking kitty adviser, Artemis. Said cat was as white as Luna was black, and had blue eyes rivaling my own. But lately he too had been infected with some horrible disease. And it scared us all.

“Whatever it is, I'm sure we can fix it. Usagi always comes though.” Rei said with more conviction than I felt myself. And talk about pressure! But it was true, to some extent. I was always fixing things in the world. As SailorMoon, I was constantly fighting evil any time it arrived. But with my soldiers by my side (Ami, Rei, Makoto, and Minako as Sailors Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus respectively) it was never beyond our power. Still, I was more frightened over this than almost anything I had ever faced. I felt as if I might not be able to fix things. And it wasn't a pleasant feeling.

“I hope you're right.” I muttered as my pigtails drifted in a light breeze, prompting me to close my warm down parka about me. But even that didn't stop the chill from invading my heart. “I really do.”

\----

The next day I woke to find Luna still asleep. That was odd, since she'd woken me each morning for six long years. Even after we moved out of my folks' house and into a modest apartment (near to my boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru), she had been my external alarm clock. But this morning she lay as still as death. I gasped and grew pale, expecting the worst. Only when I saw her tiny chest rise and fall did I let my breath out in a whoosh.

I pushed away the warm covers and pulled her into my arms. She didn't stir, even as I began to smooth down her rough fur, neglected and untidy. Yet another reason for me to be upset, since Luna had always been such a fastidious cat before. I just held her close in my arms, feeling her heartbeat. As weak as it was--I knew that something was terribly wrong.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, she made a bit of mewing, and opened her dusky eyes. She turned to me, and gasped. “Usagi! You should be in class!”

I smiled a sad, watery smile. “It's Saturday, Luna. I only have a date with Mamo-chan later.” She relaxed with that, and I felt her go limp. My eyes grew mistier, and I held her closer to me. I felt . . . I knew. I needed to know what was wrong. Somehow, Luna sensed it too.

“Why, Usagi? Why do I have to hurt you with what I know?”

“You can't hurt me any more than your pain does, Luna. Please tell me what's wrong. Why you've been so listless these past months, why you can't see, why every day is harder and harder for you.” She sighed in her little kitty voice, always and forever that of a 16 year-old girl. The lilt was still there, but it was muted as she told me the brutal truth.

“I'm old, Usagi. Artemis is too. We may not look it, or sound it, but we're not young anymore. With you, it's different. You were always human-like. And you were reborn. But us . . . we were, and are, felines. Cats don't live so long.”

“You didn’t know, since I never felt the need to tell and worry you, but I was born six or so years before I found you. Now, added to it six years of being your mentor, being thrown around and all that, I'm not feeling so well.”

“I'm going to die fairly soon. I just didn't want you to know.” I gasped in fear, and held her closer to me, feeling now the life ebbing away.

“It can't be true, Luna! This can't be the end! You're my teacher, my mentor . . . my friend. You need to be with me. I can't rule Crystal Tokyo without you!” Luna sighed again, and turned her head as well as she could to look me straight in the eye. In her eyes I saw the fear and pain, and longing for life that she would not have.

“You'll be fine, Usagi. You have your Mamoru and the soldiers. You'll be the best ruler the world has ever seen since your mother. And I'll always be with you.”

“But I need you. More than anyone else. You've been my best friend longer than anyone. How will I go on without you?” My own eyes filled further with tears that blurred my vision, and I saw a world without my friend, a world dimmed by pain and sorrow.

“You'll just have to use the soldiers more. Artemis and I weren't that helpful, you know.” Luna smirked as best as she could, and I laughed a sad little laugh.

“Yeah, cats can’t fight very well.” Luna smiled in relief to see me a bit more my old self, but still winced in pain now and then.

“Don't worry, Usagi. I love you, and I'll never leave you. Not really.” I hugged her close once more, my tears dampening her fur. But, somehow, I felt a peace invade my soul. I would lose two of my best friends, yes. But they'd never truly go away. Not really. They’d be with me in spirit, even when the pain burned. And I whispered a reply.

“I know, Luna. I know. And I'll never leave you.”

\----

Luna died later that winter. That day, I woke, much as I had before to find her still asleep--I thought. When I touched her, her fur was cold, and her eyes were closed in eternal slumber. Mercifully, I didn't have to see my comrade staring at death with a look as blank as a new snow.

I huddled her close to me and cried. I didn’t scream or wail. My pain was too deep for anguished cries. But the tears fell unceasingly as I rocked Luna as if she were a newborn kitten. Only when the phone rang did I choke back what I could of my pain and pull the receiver to me, still holding my friend.

“Usagi . . . Usagi. Artemis died. Last night. Minako called. Come home.” Rei's voice cut through, as deep with emotion as my own. But in her voice, I knew she had known early. Her psychic skill was stronger than before, and I could tell that she had felt our advisors' souls slip away in the darkest hours of the night.

I was relieved, as agonized as I was, to know neither one would have to wait for their other half. Luna and Artemis had gone on together, to live in another world without us--but not alone.

“I know, Rei. I know.” A few more mutual sympathies were exchanged before I hung up to do my duty by my beloved departed. I picked up Luna's still body, and placed it reverently on my table, before going to shower and dress. As I did so, I thanked the Gods she was curled up in her natural state of sleep when she passed. It made her seem . . . less gone, than if she had been stretched out, or grimacing in pain.

What pain she had had was absent from her face. It truly did look as if she was sleeping. But still, I wept as the water cleansed my body, but not my spirit. And when, sometime later, I searched my rooms for my best blanket to be her shroud, I looked to the rising sun (early as it was) and, I swear by all that is holy, I saw my two companions bound away to a place I could not go.

\----

In my daughter’s chambers are a group of stray cats that we found in one of the older parts of Crystal Tokyo, my home city and where we erected the palace when I ascended to the throne. The cats range in age from a mere few days, to at least a few months. It seems that some kind soul searched out the abandoned felines and placed them together near to the road, where one of the palace aides found them and brought them back to the princess. ChibiUsa calls me to her through the intercom as I'm musing in my study.

“Mama, come see the pretty kitties!” I oblige, simply because I'm not doing anything else, and I'm trying (in vain, I know) to keep ChibiUsa from turning to her dark self, Black Lady, in the future.

As I enter, one of the cats runs up to my feet. Its fur is a dark red; its eyes match its fur. As I approach, I see another is blue; a third is forest green. And the last two are hidden behind the box they were found in. Soon they come to join the other kittens. They are the oldest, it seems, and begin to act in a lordly manner as they organize play as best they can. But my eyes blur, and I see little but the past, as I am dimly aware of ChibiUsa speaking to me.

“I can't keep them, since Daddy says I can't have a cat if I have my birdie and my bunny, because it might eat them, so I wanna give this red one to Auntie-Rei. The blue one is for Auntie-Ami, and the green one is Auntie-Makoto. But I dunno who to give those two to, since Auntie-Minako says she never wants another cat since her old one died.” I bend down, and pick up the snow white, male kitten. His eyes burn into mine, blue as my own. My lips curl into a smile, and crystalline tears trail a path down my cheek.

“I don't know, Honey. I think Auntie-Minako would take this little boy.” ChibiUsa smiles, and takes him to cuddle. Then she looks at the little black one, whose regal bearing just screams maturity.

“But what about Blackie? She's got no home either.” I pick her up, and cradle her close. She purrs on contact. My eyes clear as I beam more broadly than I have in years.

“We'll take her. We can keep her in my chambers, and you can see her whenever you want.” ChibiUsa squeals and pets the kitten on her tiny head. As ChibiUsa does so, she asks a question.

“What'll we name them?”

“Well, I'm not sure about the other three, but that cute little snowball should be Artemis.”

“But that's a girl's name!”

“I don't think he'll mind. And this one,” I hold her close to my face, and ruby feline eyes widen in recognition and love, “this one will be Luna.”


End file.
